Jon Fucking Gosselin.
November 15th, 2009: Let's Talk Lawsuit!
I absolutely love this fucking dude. For years, he was married to the most insane cunt to ever grace "reality" television, but not anymore! His freedom over the past few months has provided me with more entertainment than I could have ever hoped. I must stress that this is not sarcasm. This guy's 180 degree reverse from forced house husband to a drunken, world travelling, 20 year old banging MACHINE should be envied by all men who have made the mistake of getting married. Why is Jon Gosselin my hero?
This dude married a raging bitch, no doubt about that, but he stuck it out for YEARS, even through the formation of a damn TV show that followed his every move, to take care of his kids. I don't care what all you assholes say about him having a life of his own now, but this dude was stand up from the beginning.
When Kate was out "doing her job," which basically consisted of travelling around the world talking to a bunch of boring ass housewives about what a great mother she was, this dude stayed at home and didn't bitch about it, all the while waiting for her to come home and fucking cunt all over the place. They both quit their jobs, but she went back to "work" and essentially got months away. Yeah Kate, we saw it. Fuck you.
When these two split, it was all over for Kate's reign of terror. And that, my friends, is when the awesomeness began. What awesome things has Jon done to warrant this horribly designed shrine of a website?
Banged a 23 year old
Banged a volleyball team
Banged other girls in the age range of early 20s
Stopped dressing like a goddamn slave husband and started dressing like the badass that he is
Started drinking nonstop while travelling around the world partying with every girl he could find
Went into interviews and told everyone EXACTLY HOW FUCKING INSANE HIS WIFE WAS
Kicked TLC the fuck out of his house after they made his life a joke
Drained a mutual bank account with Kate so the bitch would have to spend her own money for once
Currently suing the fuck out of TLC for $5 million for ruining his life
The best part about all this is that everyone wants to rag on him. They want to bitch and moan and complain and act as if he is a jerk for suddenly "abandoning his kids." It's pretty funny how all you housewife bitches who side with that tremendous maneating psycho had no problems when Kate was fucking her bodyguard while travelling around talking to you wet-in-the-pants-for-her-books whores, but suddenly Jon is making every bitch wet (you know, the ones who look like you used to before you trapped your husband with kids), and is taking advantage.
I love this guy. i seriously sit around and wait for more news of awesome shit that he did. How do you like it, women? This guy is just doing to you what you do to us. He is flipping the fucking script, he is taking the money, travelling the world, meeting newer, hotter girls and fucking the hell out of them. He is taking his life BACK from you life sucking wenches and GOD DAMNIT I LOVE IT!
These blurbs are just the start. There is going to be so much more to this. You will all see.
Thank you Jon Gosselin for putting some fucking man back in America, from a seriously unexpected source (reality TV).